Top or Bottom: these words circulate everywhere in gay culture, from apps to conversations between friends. They seem simple, almost obvious. Yet, as soon as you want to answer seriously a question like “what proportion of gay men is rather insertive, rather receptive, or both in Europe?”, you run into a key point: the data exists, but it does not always measure the same thing.
In this article, we sort out identity, preference and practice, we set out clear definitions (without judgement, without clichés), and we look at what the major European surveys really make it possible to estimate. Objective: a useful, pleasant, and honest reading of what we know, and what we do not know.
Understanding the terms: identity, preference and practice
Before talking numbers, we need to clarify three notions that are often mixed up. And yes, even when we talk about Top or Bottom, we can be talking about three different things.
Identity (how I define myself)
Some people define themselves as “active”, “passive” or “versatile”. It is an identity label that can be stable, or evolve over time, with age, partners, self-confidence, or context. In gay life, “Top or Bottom” can therefore be a way of presenting yourself.
Preference (what I prefer)
You can prefer a role without limiting yourself to it. Preference can be strong, moderate, or variable. It can also depend on the partner, the type of relationship (hook-up, couple), or the moment. In other words, “Top or Bottom” can be a preference, not a rule.
Practice (what I actually do)
Sexual health surveys often measure practice over a given period (for example “during the last 12 months”). This is useful, but it does not always cover identity. Here again, “Top or Bottom” can be an observed practice, not an identity.
Definitions: active, passive, versatile, insertive, receptive
In Francophone community language, people often talk about “active” and “passive”. In public health literature, people rather use “insertive” and “receptive”. The two vocabularies overlap, but are not perfectly interchangeable. That is precisely why the Top or Bottom debate deserves a minimum of rigour.
Active (often associated with “insertive”)
Being active generally refers to penetrating during anal sex. In sexual health terms, we talk about an insertive role. In everyday language, it is often the “Top or Bottom” answer most expected on apps.
Passive (often associated with “receptive”)
Being passive generally refers to being penetrated during anal sex. In sexual health, we talk about a receptive role. In discussions, “Top or Bottom” can also be loaded with stereotypes, hence the interest in returning to definitions.
Versatile (often associated with “both”)
Being versatile means being able to be insertive and receptive, depending on situations, partners, desires. In questionnaires, this often appears as “both” (insertive and receptive). In real life, “Top or Bottom” is very often… “both”, at least at certain moments.
Why these definitions do not say everything
These words do not sum up:
- desire
- sensuality
- non-penetrative practices (oral, rubbing, sex toys, BDSM, etc.)
- the dynamics of consent and communication
They describe a role in a specific practice, not a value, nor a “psychological profile”. And it is important to remind this when the subject “Top or Bottom” is treated like a social label.
What data for Europe? The most solid lead: EMIS-2017
When we talk about figures at a European scale, the most often cited reference is EMIS-2017 (European MSM Internet Survey), a large online survey of men who have sex with men (MSM), carried out in many European countries. It is a useful base to go beyond impressions and talk about Top or Bottom with a minimum of method.
What EMIS-2017 makes possible (and what it does not)
EMIS-2017 is useful because:
- the sample is very large
- the geographical coverage is European
- the questionnaire is standardised
But we also need to be transparent:
- it is not a random survey of the whole population
- respondents are recruited online, which favours certain profiles
- the “role” variable is often measured as practice or preference, not as a fixed identity
MSM vs “gays”: why the article still talks about gay sexuality
The term MSM includes men who define themselves as gay, bisexual, queer, or who do not use these words. In reality, a large part of respondents recognise themselves in gay life, its places, its codes, its apps, its sexual health issues. For a Gay Mag article, the important thing is to say clearly: we are talking here about sexuality between men, and the declared roles in this framework, while keeping methodological precision. In short, we talk “Top or Bottom”, but we explain what it measures.
What can we estimate at a European scale?
On the ground, the question “who is rather insertive, who is rather receptive, who is versatile?” is often asked as if it had a simple answer. Reality is more nuanced, and the Top or Bottom subject is a good example of this nuance.
General trend observed in surveys
In many surveys (Europe and elsewhere), we often observe:
- a significant proportion of men declaring to be “both” (versatile)
- non-negligible proportions of men who are rather insertive or rather receptive
- and variability depending on age, relationship context, and cultural norms
Why figures vary from one country to another
Even with a standardised questionnaire, answers can vary depending on:
- local vocabulary (words do not carry the same weight)
- LGBT+ visibility and perceived social safety
- access to sexual information
- app culture and the way people “present” themselves
That is why a serious “Top or Bottom” article must avoid conclusions that are too quick.
A key point: versatility is often underestimated in conversations
In discussions, you sometimes get the impression that everyone is “either one or the other”. Questionnaire data often shows a more fluid reality. Many men do not fit into a single box, or change depending on periods of their life. Here too, “Top or Bottom” is not always a fixed answer.
Associated factors (without caricature)
We can explore associated factors, provided we remain cautious and do not turn correlations into “explanations”.
Age and trajectories
Some people report an evolution of their preferences over time. This can be linked to:
- experience
- confidence
- health
- relational opportunities
- internalised norms
Type of relationship: couple, hook-up, open relationship
Roles can also vary depending on the framework:
- in a couple, some alternate more
- in a hook-up, some display a more stable “marketing” role
- in an open relationship, the diversity of partners can increase the diversity of practices
Sexual health and prevention
Talking about insertive/receptive role is also a prevention topic, because the risks of transmission of certain STIs and HIV are not identical depending on practices. But the important thing is to remind:
- modern prevention (PrEP, testing, treatment as prevention) changes the picture
- consent and communication remain central
- no position is “more” or “less” gay, “more” or “less” masculine
Methodological limits: what a serious article must say
A good piece is also one that states its limits.
Recruitment bias
An online survey reaches more easily:
- connected men
- app users
- people already sensitised to sexual health
Reporting bias
Answers can be influenced by:
- social desirability
- fear of judgement
- stereotypes (virility, domination, etc.)
Non-universal definitions
The words “active” and “passive” are not understood in the same way everywhere. Some use them as identity, others as practice of the moment.
How to read these figures without getting it wrong
- Do not confuse “role” and “personality”
The sexual role is not a moral trait, nor a hierarchy. It is a practice, a preference, sometimes an identity, and often a mix.
- Do not confuse “Europe” and “European average”
An average can mask significant gaps between countries and regions.
- Keep room for complexity
In gay sexuality, diversity is the norm: practices, desires, scenarios, relational dynamics. Categories are useful for discussion, not for locking people in.
Conclusion
The Top or Bottom question is legitimate, because it touches on the way gay sexuality is told, negotiated, and sometimes simplified. Major European surveys like EMIS-2017 offer a serious base to talk about declared roles (insertive, receptive, both), provided we are transparent about the limits: online recruitment, variable definitions, difference between identity and practice.
If we want a healthy and modern reading, the right reflex is simple: use figures to understand trends, not to manufacture norms. And remind that, in real life, many men are not reduced to a box, they explore, they negotiate, they evolve.
For comments or projects, please contact me.
